I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
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