my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
