you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
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