she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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