Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
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