I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
Randomize
