also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
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