just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
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