paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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