Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Randomize
