it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
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