It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
this will be a night to untag.
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
Randomize
