I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
Randomize
