why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
Im part way to drunk.
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
