I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
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