if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
Randomize
