erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
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