the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
i wish starbucks made bloody marys
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
