Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
I could fuck to npr.
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
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