if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
