she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
I have already put on my inside pants.
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
Randomize
