What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
Randomize
