This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
In other news, I just burned my penis
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
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