It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
We got so high we made milksteak
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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