fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
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