oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Randomize
