so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
