i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
Randomize
