Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
Life without a bra equals bliss.
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
Randomize
