Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
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