sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
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