i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
We talked him into tasing himself.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
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