tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
pray to the hookup gods
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
