i can't believe i had my finger in that
well most of my day revolves around power hour
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize
