Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Randomize
