Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
