If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
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