butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
Randomize