THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
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