Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
Randomize
