is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
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