YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
Randomize
