thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
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