yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
Randomize
