I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
He has the fingertips of a God
Randomize
