u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
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