he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
