Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
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