what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
Houston, we have a squirter
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
Randomize
