That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
Randomize
