And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
i wish my penis had a tongue
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
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