let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
We need a shit load of segways right now
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Randomize
